HOW TO DEFEAT A DEFEAT

How to defeat a defeat is a reality that seems to be the most challenging task even after one has worked hard and is ensconced in the ivory tower of his success. It seems inevitable and assails our mind at some time or the other if we are not equipped with the potential to ward it off as we never like to see ourselves defeated. A defeat takes a lot from us, leaving us without the things with which we try to make our lives colourful. A defeat in the course of life leaves us with a bitter taste in the mouth and our sense of humiliation forces us to hide from public scrutiny, turning us into creatures of darkness and stealth as the prying people, who bask in their success, will deride us and make the most of their success at the cost of our anguish. When the summit that we reached seems to be a dream of the past or had not been reached thinking that we will reach it tomorrow, sense of self pity might do the damage to erode whatever self confidence we have or force us into a sort of stillness or negative self delusion. We might become sick enough to love us as phantoms rather than as respectable human beings. But there is a way out of this state of stupor and we might again lead ourselves to the path of success, sharing the light of the day with the other people who make it with glory and pride.

Man makes the biggest mistake when he forgets his sense of limit and tends to behave as if he is the first man to have tasted the elixir of success. Success, as the poet Rudyard Kipling says, may well become the impostor as much as a disaster but one must have the maturity to be able to understand it. Just as when one reaches the pinnacle of success, one may be seized with a sense of euphoria to think it as being perennial just as one is likely to feel shattered and demoralized when a disaster strikes. One is sure to experience such alternations of situations because he makes the mistake of setting too much store by what he thinks is his best today. A man rooted in the present which is illuminated by the dazzle of success with a stoic nonchalance as a shield against what might happen with the potential to devour the present, will have the last laugh as he is not swayed by the impact of the change and is able to recover from it with amazing alacrity. Success and defeat are the two usual sides of the same course of life but they deceive people with the influence they exercise and if they are taken in our stride, they will pass over without harming us. It may sound a bit weird to hear how success can deceive us but it will become apparent to us when we will judge from the scores of examples of successful people who allowed this gift of life to turn their heads. Success begins to have a corrupting influence when we see it as the be- all and end- all of life without being conscious of the fact that there might be the reverse.

All the preparations that we had made to reap success in life may prove futile to have it a second time if there is a feeling of desperateness after one has lost it and feels he has been thrust into the cavern of darkness on all a sudden. When one is able to approach any crisis with a sense of equanimity and coolness, he is able to progress towards getting back calmness that does not make one confused. It should be remembered that when one loses one’s sense of poise on account of the disaster that has struck as if it was lurking around the corner, one finds one’s wits scattered around him and is not able to take the right decision that will guide him to harness his strength and his resources to get back to the position from where he has been dislodged. We need to have a bit of philosophy that any situation in life is the reverse of the other and we have to have the guts to face it in such a way that it fails to take the wind out of our sails. If in our success we have a vision of our defeat to restrain us and subdue a feeling of euphoria and arrogance, we will be quite ecstatic to mock the situation in which we have to land due to defeat if it ever comes our way, though a person who does not allow himself to be sold on his success can ever keep it. What we need to do to deal with any crisis is the strength of the mind and we cannot expect to have it if we are not at one with ourselves, that is, if we are not composed and unruffled. What is success or defeat if they fail to stir the emotions in the negative manner? To a man who is in control of himself, defeat, of course, gives a jolt but it fails to have him falter just as success does not erase the cherished yet agonized memories of the days of struggle.